Objet a

by Old Girl

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about

Thank you to everyone who has supported &/or inspired this process in numerous ways, you know who you are.

credits

released May 18, 2016

Written*/Performed/Produced (vox, synth, piano, guitar, drum programming, etc) by Old Girl (Nasstasia) at Wychbury Manor
*Abyss of Potentials - partial lyrics from Human Cylinders by Mina Loy
*Jouissance - lyrics derived from Lacan's Seminar X
Mastered by Otic Sound: oticmastering.com
Cover photo by Kay Gallivan
Cover Design by Nasstasia
Tape release by Gary Cassettes: garycassettes@gmail.com

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Old Girl Victoria, British Columbia

-mundus imaginalis-

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Track Name: Help Me to Embrace
Don't go professing your love
you'll only be disappointed again
don't go professing your love
you'll only be disappointed
you'll only be disappointed

love is a wolf, a wolf from the woods
love is a wolf, a wolf from the woods
who will tear your heart out with just one bite
will tear your heart out with just one bite

is there a way, is there a way
to embrace this piece of me
is there a way, is there a way
to order the house of destiny

come on do what you will
its why we can't deny
what's aching in the pull
come on do it, why do you wait
ways we can't deny
what's left of my fate
ways we can't deny
whats left in my bed

and you weren't there to comfort me
you weren't there to comfort me
you're never there when I want you
you're never there when I need you

disappointment is your destiny
disappointment is your destiny
help me to embrace
help me to embrace
Track Name: Beast
Madness arrived
the queen of the scene
they all had something
to say about her
say about her

get over yourself
get over your I
was over myself 15 year ago
when I died
when I died

they made a colony
planted the seed
the mark of the beast in my head
in my head

i'm sorry my love
i'm not what you want
stop hurting us
with the stake
stop burning us
at the stake

I don't know what words will work
to please the gods
to grant you what you want
I don't know where you're trying to go
or what galaxy that you came from
Track Name: Abyss of Potentials
Human cylinders
revolving
in the enervating dusk
that wraps each closer
in the mystery
of singularity
among the litter of a sunless afternoon

having eaten without tasting
talked without communion
and at least two of us
loved a very little
without seeking to know
if our two miseries
in the lucid rush, together
could form
one opulent well-being

your indistinctness
served me the core of you
when in the frenzied reaching out
of intellect to intellect
leaning brow to brow
communicative over the abyss
of the potential

where each extrudes
beyond the tangible
one thin pale trail of speculation
from among us
we have sent out
into the enervating dusk
one little
whining beast
whose longing is to slink back

your indistinctness
served me the core of you
when in the frenzied reaching out
of intellect to intellect
leaning brow to brow
communicative over the abyss
of the potential

shaking in your glass house
all the doors open to the universe
a ghost in every room
and the cold wind blowing through
your psychic split
and hollow bones
never know
who it will be
waiting for the one
who can survive
the everything, nothing, and in between

your indistinctness
served me the core of you
when in the frenzied reaching out
of intellect to intellect
leaning brow to brow
communicate over the abyss
of the potential
Track Name: Every Star
Never belonged here with you
and I never caught
a word you said
and I never got
through

but there's someone
on the other side
I've always known
whose always known
my insides

I'm just a fickle child
but I swear I'd marry
you tomorrow

enter the agreement
that I'll bandage every
wound
when you fall down
when you fall down

every star explodes
would you suppose
the star had no love
or that it had run out
or that it had too much
a thing grows weary
even our sun
can only burn
for so long
love is blind, no
but maybe we need to be
in order to see
love
the only time we'll ever truly know love
is when every star
has burnt out
the only time we'll ever truly know love
is when every moon
has gone dark
Track Name: Fever Dream
I remember watching you
smoking on my balcony
watching the smoke rise about your head
watching you from inside
watching you from behind
smoking on my balcony

watching you smoke away your anxiety
watching you caress your addiction
with the same hand you use to caress me
transcend the emptiness
with smoke on my balcony

never seen so many cigarette butts in an ashtray
you out-smoke everybody
that's ever smoked on my balcony
kiss a hundred cigarettes that you left for me to clean

when we made love your hands were shaking
you were cold, sweaty, and shivering
like a child caught in a fever dream
detoxing in my bed
from lack of sleep and too much drinking
and I tried to hold your hands still
I tried to keep them warm against my heart
on vacation in my bed
I touched your lips all night long

I wanted you to know my love is safe
wanted you to know my love is safe
my love,
my love is safe
Track Name: Not the Marrying Type
We finally figured it out
how to fuck each other
while also making love

soft and hard
at just the right amount
those kisses now forever kissing
in the ether

when i got home
i got off alone
pictured your eyes gazing through me
while i came

i want to soothe away your pain
make you feel good always
always

I've known you for a thousand years
my sweet ancient darling
oh dry your tears

although we're not the marrying type
who knows someday maybe, somewhere
we might

the fantasy is not to be dismissed
or will we live without knowing
what we missed

i want to soothe away your pain
make you feel good always
always
Track Name: Overdue
I set the stage up
for you to sing
I lined the bells up
for us to ring
I put my cape on
and lit the torch
descended the dark tunnel of love
with you

as if you belonged here
so overdue
and we could finally celebrate your arrival
with the clouds as our witnesses
I poured the wine
emptied my cup for you

now you assign me
to stop
and drain out my longing
turn my heart from delusion
back to reality,
its so sobering

the sky is grey, its very true
and I'm embracing the great divide
between us
as memories fade we understand
the absurdity of our desires

I'm glad you shut up
and pulled the plug!
you sweet, sad cynical lover
we are two seeds
in a pod who cannot grow next to each other
Track Name: Broken Church
We peered through the holy
found desert inside
you could not love me only
so why did you cry?

this great expanse
is the beginning my friend
silently holding
nothing left to be said

some might abandon
what can't be comprehended
believe if its empty
for a moment
its ended

I don't know what you are
and you don't know I
confessing our fears
in the quiet midnight

every sound reverberates to our death
so deny love's song if you think it best

we make our choices
from mutated will
out from the fissure
the silver blood spills

this church is empty
the foundation is cracked
you lied in confession
did not admit that you lack

every sound reverberates to our death
so deny love's song if you think it best