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Objet a

by Old Girl

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1.
2.
Beast 05:59
Madness arrived the queen of the scene they all had something to say about her say about her get over yourself get over your I was over myself 15 year ago when I died when I died they made a colony planted the seed the mark of the beast in my head in my head i'm sorry my love i'm not what you want stop hurting us with the stake stop burning us at the stake I don't know what words will work to please the gods to grant you what you want I don't know where you're trying to go or what galaxy that you came from
3.
Human cylinders revolving in the enervating dusk that wraps each closer in the mystery of singularity among the litter of a sunless afternoon having eaten without tasting talked without communion and at least two of us loved a very little without seeking to know if our two miseries in the lucid rush, together could form one opulent well-being your indistinctness served me the core of you when in the frenzied reaching out of intellect to intellect leaning brow to brow communicative over the abyss of the potential where each extrudes beyond the tangible one thin pale trail of speculation from among us we have sent out into the enervating dusk one little whining beast whose longing is to slink back your indistinctness served me the core of you when in the frenzied reaching out of intellect to intellect leaning brow to brow communicative over the abyss of the potential shaking in your glass house all the doors open to the universe a ghost in every room and the cold wind blowing through your psychic split and hollow bones never know who it will be waiting for the one who can survive the everything, nothing, and in between your indistinctness served me the core of you when in the frenzied reaching out of intellect to intellect leaning brow to brow communicate over the abyss of the potential
4.
Every Star 04:35
Never belonged here with you and I never caught a word you said and I never got through but there's someone on the other side I've always known whose always known my insides I'm just a fickle child but I swear I'd marry you tomorrow enter the agreement that I'll bandage every wound when you fall down when you fall down every star explodes would you suppose the star had no love or that it had run out or that it had too much a thing grows weary even our sun can only burn for so long love is blind, no but maybe we need to be in order to see love the only time we'll ever truly know love is when every star has burnt out the only time we'll ever truly know love is when every moon has gone dark
5.
Fever Dream 03:19
I remember watching you smoking on my balcony watching the smoke rise about your head watching you from inside watching you from behind smoking on my balcony watching you smoke away your anxiety watching you caress your addiction with the same hand you use to caress me transcend the emptiness with smoke on my balcony never seen so many cigarette butts in an ashtray you out-smoke everybody that's ever smoked on my balcony kiss a hundred cigarettes that you left for me to clean when we made love your hands were shaking you were cold, sweaty, and shivering like a child caught in a fever dream detoxing in my bed from somniferum and too much drinking and I tried to hold your hands still I tried to keep them warm against my heart on vacation in my bed I touched your lips all night long I wanted you to know my love is safe wanted you to know my love is safe my love, my love is safe
6.
We finally figured it out how to fuck each other while also making love soft and hard at just the right amount those kisses now forever kissing in the ether when i got home i got off alone pictured your eyes gazing through me while i came i want to soothe away your pain make you feel good always always I've known you for a thousand years my sweet ancient darling oh dry your tears although we're not the marrying type who knows someday maybe, somewhere we might the fantasy is not to be dismissed or will we live without knowing what we missed i want to soothe away your pain make you feel good always always
7.
8.
Overdue 05:40
I set the stage up for you to sing I lined the bells up for us to ring I put my cape on and lit the torch descended the dark tunnel of love with you as if you belonged here so overdue and we could finally celebrate your arrival with the clouds as our witnesses I poured the wine emptied my cup for you now you assign me to stop and drain out my longing turn my heart from delusion back to reality, its so sobering the sky is grey, its very true and I'm embracing the great divide between us as memories fade we understand the absurdity of our desires I'm glad you shut up and pulled the plug! you sweet, sad cynical lover we are two seeds in a pod who cannot grow next to each other
9.
Jouissance 05:32
10.
We peered through the holy found desert inside you could not love me only so why did you cry? this great expanse is the beginning my friend silently holding nothing left to be said some might abandon what can't be comprehended believe if its empty for a moment its ended I don't know what you are and you don't know I confessing our fears in the quiet midnight every sound reverberates to our death so deny love's song if you think it best we make our choices from mutated will out from the fissure the silver blood spills this church is empty the foundation is cracked you lied in confession did not admit that you lack every sound reverberates to our death so deny love's song if you think it best

about

Thank you to everyone who has supported &/or inspired this process in numerous ways, you know who you are.

credits

released May 18, 2016

Written*/Performed/Produced (vox, synth, piano, guitar, drum programming, etc) by Old Girl (Nastasya Yaremczuk) at Wychbury Manor
*Abyss of Potentials - partial lyrics from Human Cylinders by Mina Loy
*Jouissance - lyrics derived from Lacan's Seminar X
Mastered by Otic Sound: oticmastering.com
Cover photo by Kay Gallivan
Cover Design by Nastasya Yaremczuk
Tape release by Gary Cassettes: garycassettes@gmail.com

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about

Old Girl Victoria, British Columbia

Old Girl is an experimental bedroom recording project by Nastasya Ellefsen Yaremchuk who lives in comfortable obscurity with the wildcats, wolves, and ravens on Vancouver Island, Canada. She was born in Montreal with Ukrainian and mixed Quebecois heritage. She's a Slavic Studies academic (history, culture, language) and makes music on the side. ... more

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